The Center for Action and Contemplation offers daily meditations. In one from last week, contemplative practitioner and clinical psychologist, James Finley, wrote the following: 

“When you risk sharing what hurts the most in the presence of someone who will not invade you or abandon you, you can discover within yourself what Jesus called the pearl of great price, your invincible preciousness in the midst of your fragility.” (Read the whole piece at CAC.).

When I read this, I immediately sent it to a few of my soul sisters who know exactly what it means to not invade or abandon one another, and I thanked them for such rich friendship. Among these women, daring to be vulnerable is a badge of honor and, quite frankly, no other way of living seems to make much sense. In fact, in this circle we seem to intuitively know that vulnerability is the ultimate source of meaningful transformation. Leaning into this truth empowers us to live courageously, joyfully, and with purpose. 

Yet too often in many of our relationships one person (usually subconsciously) tries to have control over the other, a conversation, or a situation, using tactics of invading or abandoning. Invading is when we barge into another’s psychic space and assume we know what they think and feel or what they should do. Abandoning is when we flee from someone, perhaps in disapproval, discomfort, or ignorance, and thus fail to offer any compassion. These two modes of domination— to intrude or cast aside — are extremes that critically damage a relationship or thwart the potential for one altogether. 

When we fail to grant another the dignity of their own experience we miss beautiful opportunities for true connection. 

Who in your life honors your invincible preciousness by being present in way that neither invades nor abandons you? And who might you handle with such tender, loving care as well? 

May you be inspired!